It's a new one....

.....and it's for all of us.

Let us hope that we make better use of it. Time is a wasting and all that stuff.

Cooking Advice

Now they tell you not to stuff it ....so stuff it!

(From one who was thinking of cooking at Christmas)

Navigation

My nephew Ian used a Satnav plugged into the fag lighter of his car and within three minutes had the entire route plan for his journey from Oxford to somewhere in remote Slovenia.

And to think that in my lifetime, I had to navigate ships, ( with only partial accuracy,) across the oceans using a vernier sextant.

Now that's ancient!

Gift Express

Listening in

I was on a bus in Yantai, in the province of Shandong, China. Two middle aged matrons sat opposite me. They were holding a conversation in their normal everyday tones - loud enough to be heard from one paddy field to another.

"I can't believe how ugly that foreign devil is!" said one.

"Such a big nose", rejoined the other. "Foreigners smell bad too, it's all that milk they drink".

I looked about the bus, but I was the only foreigner on it.

My conversational Mandarin is reasonable. As I left the bus I said, "Beautiful younger sisters, have a peaceful journey".

Two mouths fell open, but not a word was spoken.

Accepted without question

Some exercise machines at the gym ask you to key in your age. They are none judgmental. When I enter 25, they just accept it without the blink of a neon light.

Unfortunately, the program that they then pump out, is more than my pensioner body can cope with.

Luckily I know that the big red button means "stop".